My good friend Mandela wrote the male version of Love me fiercely and even though I am not a guy, I suspect that he has hit the nail on the head. (Guys, am I right?) We have the most random of conversations based on his whatsapp status and he just seemed like the right person for the job. Thanks for indulging me on such short notice, Mandela. Ladies, here is to knowing the men we love a bit more. And happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
Love me fiercely.
Free me in Love.
Don’t ask me what I will eat. Anything you give me is good food. Serve me waakye instead of jollof, even though you know that I can eat jollof 6 times a day so that I can try something new.
Tuck a bottle of Sobolo (the one with lots of ginger) in my lunch pack so I can shout out in joy when I discover it like a hidden treasure during lunch. Feed me bits of vegetables and smoked fish while you cook. Ask me to taste and rate your cooking, knowing that my ego is boosted when you seek my validation and make me feel relevant.
Call me to change the light bulb or help you prepare a presentation. I know you are a strong woman who can take care of anything but you need to understand that the most fulfilling relationship for a man is one in that reaffirms his leadership and masculinity.
When you get the chance to speak to a group of people, don’t forget to appreciate my support. As a black African man, I am not appreciated enough for my support in my woman’s life. You know I love the attention
Welcome me with a hug and a smile, with an I-miss-you kiss every single time I come home as if I was gone without hopes of ever returning from war front. Don’t get too comfortable with showing how happy you are when you see me.
Be my biggest fan and not be too proud to show it. Chant my name and be the cheerleader of “team me” when I compete with the guys, when we play FIFA at home. Don my replica Blackstars jersey to “watch” an EPL game with me, even though you never understand the offside rule and think the yellow card means get ready to kick while the red signifies a stop in play. I know you may give all the attention your phone or make me explain the offside rule a hundred times before the end of the first half. Or you may silently doze off while pretending to follow game. Watch with me anyways.
Don’t assume that I have mastered the colour combination lessons you gave me three days ago. Pick out my clothes for different occasions because left to me, I would wear my Arsenal jersey to Caroline, my work colleague’s traditional wedding ceremony. I am helpless and hopeless in the area of fashion without your direction. I don’t feel that way because you are here. I love the swimming trunks you picked out for me because it has an interesting colour which I don’t know. I can see blue, red, white and black but I can’t identify purple to save my life.
Let me know that I am in shape. I don’t care about being handsome because you chose me out of the many. I can live with a fat belly but I know how much you dislike men with one. Let me know you see the gains and it appeals to your sense of desire. Take my head on your laps and run your finger over my brows. Most times, I really can’t believe you think they are the most attractive feature on me. Convince me every day that I still have what you find attractive. Aside the affirmation, your touch feels good and I look forward to watching the “boring” soap opera with you on Thursday night so I can have my head on your laps.
Yes! I am supposed to be the man who expresses little or no mushy emotions as society expects of every man. “Man no dey catch feelings” but I want to be able to let my guard down and be emotional when I am with you. Make it easy for me to tell you who “took my candy” at work or how hurt I was when my supervisor “blasted” me or how downhearted I am that the business proposal did not go through. All I am asking is for you to be my escape from the battlefield of life.
Look good for me. You don’t have to wait till you have to go out to look good. It’s true you look amazing without trying. It’s true when you are busy or working out in sweat, looking all serious and focused is the time your appeal to me to swells, but Queen, I love it when you dress up in a pair of butt-shorts and tank top with your natural 4C hair held in two side buns, giving your royal forehead prominence. Whenever you do this I believe in my heart I got a glimpse of paradise. Look good always and everywhere even at home.
Be my peace. The pressures to be a man in this world double when you come from Ghana. Remind me that I am enough. Allow me to be a 3 year old boy, a 17 year old teenager and a 30 year old man all at once. Let me trust you with all these sides of me. Sometimes I just want to be alone, or with my guys. Please understand that it has nothing to do with my love for you. That solitude helps to keep me sane.
I am just a man who knows little about matters of emotion and the heart .
Take me as I am.
You found my confusion and lack of knowledge in expressing my emotions very cute. You were impressed that I tried, clumsily, to tell you of my emotions for you. I tried because you made it feel safe. Your maternal instincts go into overdrive when it comes to me. It is those things that you do instinctively that made me stay.
Love me fiercely.
Love me boldly.
Love me extravagantly.
And patiently teach me how you love.