Naa Awula is back, serving us some realness. 1st February was her birthday as well, so I am sure she is coming with all the euphoria and hope of a new year. Happy reading!
A tune plays softly in the background. The decor – splendid. The atmosphere is filled with oohs, ahhs and awws of guests. Hundreds of pairs of eyes, all fixed on you. Beads of perspiration form rapidly on your brow. You dab at them, careful not to wipe off your drawn-on eyebrows. An echo of your voice is all that can be heard. Your voice quivers slightly as you repeat slowly after the Reverend: “…to be my lawfully wedded husband; to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health…”
Pause. Deep breath. Take a minute. Maybe two. Take as long as you need but just make sure you pause before you go on.
Look around you. These people are going to leave you two to face life together, alone. They won’t be there. Family, friends, no one; just you two. So don’t you rush into making this decision. They’ll ask, “What are you waiting for? He’s a cool guy. Do you know how many ladies are clapping and making declarations at the Achimota Forest, just to even get a guy to ask for their number?”
For guys it’s: “My guy, make you no slack. In jollof dey bee waa. Wey she fine too.” Sure let’s go on and make decisions we’ll have to live out for the rest of our lives based on jollof and social status, shall we? Any Jezebel can cook and clean but is that all that makes a godly wife? Chef and janitorial skills?
Making a decision on whether or not to be with someone can be tough, real tough. Especially when he/she has ticked off everything on your checklist but there’s still something about him/her that just creates an uncomfortable feeling in your heart. You can’t seem to place your finger on it. Everything appears cool on the outside but there’s just a hint of you’re-not-sure-what-it-is in there. Deep down within you feel some uncertainty. Any time you have to meet up with him/her you have a feeling in your gut that almost makes you sick. You sense within you that something is very wrong even though everything looks alright. Allow me to introduce you to the small print.
During an update, we’re usually notified of terms and conditions and given the option to select ‘I agree’ or ‘I disagree’. Selecting the latter usually means we can’t continue to the next stage so most of us usually select the former just so we can proceed. We seldom read the terms and conditions on most of these installations we make. Then we get excited when we see the notification: 3 updates successfully installed. It’s only when you start encountering some problems that we go back and realise we were prompted but we did not notice it because it was in small print.
Many a time we overlook the small print people have and click ‘I agree’ just so we can hit ‘next‘. You can tell within your heart of hearts that something just isn’t right with them but you go with it ‘just ’cause.’ You know the kind; the things you’re consciously overlooking that you know you shouldn’t. Sometimes it’s not in small print but in huge red flags which we ignore. “It’s all in my head”, you assure yourself, “There’s nothing wrong with him.” “My mum likes her and all my guys know her”, you convince yourself, “We’ll be okay.” Are you sure? Her terrible temper she lives in denial of; his rudeness, he insists is his way of expressing his opinion….you’ll be okay? We’d rather endure this so we too can flood timelines with selfies and posts; to let that ex know we’ve moved on; to create the illusion of a perfect relationship to everyone. But God didn’t make you to be ‘okay’; He made you for greatness. You two are not equally yoked; you’re not even headed in the same direction. “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3). So you’d rather keep him/her around till ‘something better’ shows up when the truth is you’re concerned your schedule is so busy you’ll probably not meet anyone else and you don’t want to be judged by everyone for letting a ‘catch’ go.
Society has a way of subtly nudging you into places you don’t want to be. It didn’t start now and certainly won’t be ending soon. So be strong. Listen to that still small Voice’s prompting. Take time to read the small print in detail; because in that quiet hall, draped with fabric and sprinkled with soft petals, in the presence of God and man, your next words to what you’ve started shall be ‘….till death do us part.’