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Know Thy Man Ep15: Final twists

Hey fam! It is today! We draw the curtain down on #KnowThyMan today. I know I will cry tonight (yes, I am a crybaby like that!) I cried when #CapitalHigh ended, so it is only fair that I cry for this one as well..lol! As an aside, so all those of you who cursed me and insulted me in your hearts for leaving you hanging, tell me how you feel now. I was just trying to surprise you but you are not that easy to surprise, after all. Three of my friends got married this weekend so as expected, this final episode is to all 3 beautiful couples- Kelvin & Ayeley, Manasseh & Becky and Kofi & Kafui. May your love be the kind that knows no ending!❤ Congratulations to my friends who passed the bar exams, especially Kwame Kota. Too proud of you!!

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As you already know, our meetup is fast approaching and I am already giddy with excitement just thinking about it. It is on the 17th of September, 4pm to 7pm at the Workshed (2nd floor of the HFC Bank). Please don’t forget to register so that we can have a fair idea of the numbers we are working with. There are surprises and giveaways to look forward to. We will discuss your favourite stories and characters, re-write some of them and do all sorts of fun Kenikodjo-related things. It will be all kinds of lit!! I really can’t wait to see all of you! September is just an awesome month! (Remember the official hashtag for the meetup is #theKenikodjomeetup)

If you follow us on social media, you will know that we had the #knowthyman photo shoot this weekend. I can’t say thank you enough to my wonderful cast. You are such amazing people and seeing how much effort you put into bringing the characters to life was indeed humbling! (Chale, people wore wedding rings nyinaa oo!)  As always, I am truly indebted to Gerard Nartey and Kwame Pocho for taking time off their busy schedules to shoot and edit these lovely pictures.❤❤❤

To appreciate the end, it is only fair that we go back to the beginning. Meet the people whose lives we have combed through over the last 16 weeks…

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Peter, Paa Kow, Tim and almighty Prosper…

….and the ladies

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Know Thy Man Episode 14: I know my man

The days seem to be racing by these days! I can’t believe it is already Wednesday! I am sorry that I haven’t replied to comments for the last 3 weeks. I hope to respond to all of them before the end of the week. I appreciate you taking time to leave a comment anytime you read. Like someone I met two weeks ago said, sometimes the comments are just as interesting as the story. 


New Milestone: We went past 150,000 views on Thursday. Looks like 200K is in reach now. This episode is dedicated to Frank and Ama Tetsewaa who got married one and half weeks ago. I am so sorry I could not make it.May God Himself preserve your union and keep you happy! Ich wünsche Euch eine glückliche Ehe! Soooooo the Kenikodjo meetup is drawing nearer. Just 39 days till I see you guys! The conversation has already started on Twitter-too exciting! Lemme know what you are expecting and looking forward to. My inbox awaits😉

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Check out our venue!! Details will be out shortly!

-Hey. Lemme know when you see this. We need to talk.

Tonia clicked send and stared at the phone, willing it to light up.

Come on. Reply. Please. 

When the phone finally lit up, she jumped to her feet and grabbed it. Her face immediately returned to its sullen state.

Who needs a Vodafone text message at this time of the night? Mtchew!

It had been a long day. Selikem was restless. He kept crying. The doctors said it could be colic. She had still not resolved things with Paa Kow and after 48 hours, she was now uneasy. That was why she sent the text message. She was sad, worn out and in need of a friend. When she heard the knock on her door, she hoped and prayed that it was Paa Kow, but as fate would have it, it was Tim.

‘Tim?’

‘You know you could sound a little more enthusiastic, right?’

‘I just wasn’t expecting to see you.’

‘Well, I know you and I know you would have trouble sleeping, especially with a new baby and Kafui’s passing, so I came with Rich Tea and Horlicks. That used to do the trick back in the day.’

Tonia smiled.

‘Okay, lemme wear some trousers and get mugs. We could sit on the porch.’

Are you out of your mind? He is the reason why you are in this trouble in the first place. Say good night to him and go back to bed.

Drowning out the voice of reason, she put some water in the kettle and pulled out two mugs from the kitchen cabinet. Sitting on the stairs with her former boyfriend at 11pm broke all her rules, but today she was too tired to fight. Too tired to think through it. After sipping and nibbling for a while, there was silence.

‘Tim, I am scared.’

‘I know.’

‘Everything is changing so fast. Kafui is dead. She killed herself. And of all people, she left her son in my care. You know me, I hate the idea of being tied down- either by a man or by kids. I am the butterfly who has discovered her wings and is figuring out how high she can fly. The strange thing is, as soon as Selikem cries, something within me switches. I become this emotional person. Kafui called it a motherly instinct. I used to think God left that out when he created me.’

‘Tonia, her death isn’t your fault. Her letter is proof of it.’

‘But why did she give up? I don’t get that part. Why did she allow him to win? That measly, good for nothing prick! Where was God? ‘

‘You and I will probably never know for sure.’

‘Wait, aren’t you supposed to know these things? Isn’t that what pastors do? Explain the things that don’t make sense?’

Tim laughed.

‘On the contrary, we don’t know everything. All I know is that God is good and his wisdom transcends ours. He always had a plan. It is easy to ask ‘Where is our God?’. It is also easy to miss Him in our daily routines. I believe He is everywhere- sometimes in a subtle way, sometimes in a loud roaring dominant way. He also doesn’t interfere with our lives until we give Him permission to- He was there when Jesus and his disciples were caught in the storm. He was there when the Israelites needed to cross the Red Sea, but both times he did not act until he was called upon. He gives us the room to choose which way to go.’

‘Well, I’d like to see that plan materialize soon.’

‘Maybe it already has. Look at you, all motherly instinct and stuff.’

‘Ha! So why did you really come here? I don’t buy the I know you story.’

‘Well, I came because I miss you. I miss talking to you. Don’t get me wrong, I understand I burnt the love bridge when I left. I just want to be friends.’

‘You burnt that bridge when you wore that priestly robe. At some point, I wanted to pour acid on you and watch you burn, but that is all in the past now.’

Tim laughed.

‘I’ll take that as a joke. About Paa Kow, don’t worry I will keep a respectable distance. You should marry him, especially since I am off the market now.’

‘With comments like this, I should probably get a gallon of acid and keep it close by.’

‘I haven’t laughed this much in a while.’

‘Nuns don’t have a sense of humour, do they?’

‘They do-actually. With a biblical bias. It is getting late, you should probably head inside.’

Tim got up and helped her up to her feet. She lost her balance and he held her. For a few seconds, everything froze. Only for a few seconds.

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Soliloquy

It was there when I got home.

My dinner.

Two bowls covered with a napkin.

I hate it when she does this- plays the dutiful wife when I have been a jerk.

That ‘coals of fire’ thing they taught us in Sunday School actually works.

It makes me feel worse for not being there for her.

These days, she spends more time staring at the TV than she does anything else.

Not that I can blame her.

The characters in the telenovela are loyal.

They are there when she needs them.

Monday to Friday for an hour.

Throw in Sunday, when they do the two-hour omnibus discussion.

Pablo and Maria make her smile.

I, on the other hand, remind her of the pain, the loneliness.

The fact that she can’t give me a child.

After three miscarriages, I was done trying.

The depression, the crying, it was all too much to take.

I was hurting too, but my world didn’t stop.

Besides, what was the point in trying again if she was just going to lose it?

So I started coming home at midnight and leaving at dawn,

Avoiding the misery she had rained on the house.

I don’t know how we got here.

I promised her she would never have to feel alone,

That we could work through anything

And yet, here we are…

 

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Know Thy Man Ep13: Bravery..

Happy Wednesday guys! Exciting times!! So Kenkey for the needy papped!! It was good to see some of the faces behind the Twitter and Instagram handles that leave comments and post tweets. You have me anticipating the meetup even more! If you haven’t already saved the date, you should. I can’t wait to see you on the 17th of September!  And for those of you who send me messages volunteering to take care of different things for the meetup, I can’t even begin to find the words to describe just how awesome you are! Special shout outs to Elorm for this week’s meme. If you haven’t seen it, please check it out on the Facebook pagePulse Ghana did a feature on Vows by Kenikodjo this week. Check it out hereThis week, we find out what is in the envelope. Oh, and your theories about what could be in the envelope were rather interesting! Happy reading!:)

‘You are a good friend, Ewura.’

‘So are you, Tonia.’

‘I doubt that. I kissed my best friend’s husband and now I would like to kill my other friend’s husband for hurting her this much.’

Ewuradjoa laughed.

‘Nobody can stand up for us and do the things you do for us like you can, Tonia. I love you.’

‘I love you too. ‘

Just then, the nanny who used to stay with Kafui came inside. She was carrying an envelope.

‘Good afternoon. Madam’s mother came to clear her clothes out of the house and we found this. She told me to bring it to you.’, she said, gesturing at Tonia.

‘Me? What is it?’

The nanny placed the envelope in her hands and her breath caught in her throat.

Boldly written on the envelope, in Kafui’s handwriting, was the inscription ‘For Tonia.’


These days the room keeps spinning.

It was lightening, thunder ,hail, fire and brimstone all at once.

Somehow the idea that Kafui had accidentally killed herself gave Tonia some peace.

It was impulsive.

It made Tonia feel better to think that it was a spur of the moment thing, that she didn’t have time to think it through. That she had not thought about what it would mean to leave baby Selikem behind. That he would have to grow up with the stigma of being ‘the boy whose mother killed herself’. That she had not thought of what it would do to the rest of the ladies.

A letter felt calculated, thought through, deliberate.

Tonia’s stomach began to turn.

Her fingers trembled as her bright pink acrylic nails pried the envelope open. She cleared her throat and reached for the glass of water beside her.

Tonia,

If you are reading this, then it has already happened.

Before anything else, let me say how sorry I am for everything.

I am just tired of trying. I was tired of watching Prosper choosing everything and anything over me. Tired of not being good enough for him.

I wish I could leave him, but as hard as it is to believe, I love him.

I am tired of wondering if Selikem is going to grow up and watch me deteriorate, if he will watch me become less and less of myself. I don’t want that for him.

I want him to have a normal life, full of love, peace and hope.

I want him to learn to love a woman the right way and to never hit a woman.

I don’t want him to live with the scars of an abusive marriage.

So I am leaving him with you. I know you will fiercely love and protect him like he is your own child. I know you will fight for him until your last breath. I know you will give him what I am unable to give him- a loving happy childhood with good memories.

Thank you for being my friend, for loving me, for believing in me.

Thank Ewuraefua for being a refuge for me to run to.

Thank Adjeley for living life to the fullest. It made me yearn to do the same.

If Paa Kow asks you to marry him, say yes. Don’t be stubborn. We both know you love him.

And forgive Prosper. I have.

There is so much I would love to tell you before I leave, but I know you will try and talk me out of it.

Make sure my funeral is done right. If there is anyone I can trust to do it, it’s you.

Your friend,

Kafui.

She laughed, she cried, she frowned, she closed her eyes in pain. It was like an orchestra of emotions, without the conductor. Her friend had really killed herself and left a suicide note full of wit, truth and pain.

‘This doesn’t sound like someone who wants to die. She sounds so full of life.’

Tonia was still not ready to refer to her in the past tense. It made everything feel final. Too final.

‘You okay?’ Ewuraefua’s voice pierced through the many questions on her mind.

‘Yes. Yes, I am.’ Tonia sniffled and smiled. ‘You should read it’, she said, handing the letter over to Ewuraefua.

‘So what are you going to do if Prosper tries to come for the baby?’

‘Oh, I’d like to see him try.’

*****

The meetings to plan the funeral were more draining than the girls expected. Sitting there and listening to Kafui’s family members squabble amongst themselves about petty things like which order to list her cousins in on the obituary had pushed Tonia to levels she didn’t even know existed.

Especially with the way things had ended with Paa Kow. They had fought after he walked into her house, demanding to know why she had neglected to tell him about  Tim’s visit.

‘What else are you keeping from me now?’

‘Paa Kow, come on! I didn’t tell you coz I had to rush to Ewuraefua’s place.’

‘What was so important that could not wait? What is so important that made you forget to tell me something this huge?’

‘Paa Kow, I kissed Peter by accident some time ago and I needed to tell my friend about it and ask for her forgiveness.’

‘But you didn’t think I should know this. I had to find out in an argument? Wow, Tonia, wow.’

*****
‘Have you written your tribute yet?’, Adjeley asked, propping her head against the pillow.

‘Not yet. I can’t bring myself to do it. It is just too draining. I am tired and everything is just messed up. Paa Kow and I keep fighting. I don’t know if I can be a good mother to Selikem, if Kafui made the right decision.’

‘You will be fine’

That night when Selikem and Adjeley were asleep, she pulled out her journal and turned to a fresh page. After a few moments, she wrote:

Kafui was the bravest woman I have ever known. Even in her scariest and loneliest moments, she was brave.

See you next week.. 

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Know Thy Man Ep12: More questions than answers

I missed you guys! I honestly did! It’s good to be back in #KnowThyMan land. To everyone asking me why Kafui had to die, come and let’s discuss it at #theKenikodjomeetup. 😉 Speaking of which, thanks for participating in the poll. I am super excited about seeing all of you on 17th September! It will be lit! (This is my new favourite phrase these days) Special thanks to everyone who has volunteered to help with the planning and coordination before and on the day. You guys eh? 💗 Oh, and the #KnowThyMan tweets, memes and status updates are cracking me up! 

This weekend, my friend Caritas (a staunch Kenikodjo reader) and the Tatas and friends team are having Kenkey for the needy this Saturday! You buy kenkey along with all the assorted toppings- eggs, chicken, shrimps, sardines, fried fish, corned beef, pear, name it. The money raised will be used to bless some children this year. It is a win-win. Your tummy is happy and so are the children. See you on Saturday at Efua Sutherland Park! 

This episode is in loving memory of  Karen Maame Kontoh Asiedu, ‘Bestie’. It is really a painful  farewell. Rest in perfect peace ❤️

‘So it’s true.’

It felt like one nightmare after another for Adjeley.

First, it was dealing with the pain of losing Pedro. She had not realized just how attached she had become to him. There was a pit in her tummy and she tried to keep the trembling out of her voice by squeezing her fingers together. She looked at him and saw that he was also sad about leaving. His eyes looked tired.

‘Will you come back?’

‘I don’t think so.’

Each word made the pit even deeper. It felt like someone was hitting her with little pebbles exactly where it hurt the most. She knew that this day would come – the day when the sapiosexual fling would end. She had always thought that it would end because she had suddenly grown disinterested in the multifaceted mystery that Pedro was. Not because he had to leave.

I am not ready.

As if that wasn’t enough, she had to discover that Kafui had died on her last night with Pedro. It was supposed to be their farewell date and as such her phone was off throughout the night. She walked into the house the next day to discover that Kafui had committed suicide and as expected, Tonia was distraught.

Suicide?

No one had seen this coming but somehow Adjeley felt guilty for not being there with everyone in Kafui’s last hours. She gaped in disbelief as Tonia recounted the happenings of the night before.

‘You read about suicide in books. It is fiction. Something not connected to people like us, not even remotely. We don’t kill ourselves. We don’t give up. We suffer. We endure.’

‘I don’t know if I should be angry at her for giving up or angry at myself for pushing her to want more. Maybe I should not have pushed her to believe that she could overcome it, that she could have a better life.’

‘Tonia, don’t blame yourself. I saw her transform before my very eyes. She became confident, hopeful, alive.’

‘So what happened?’

‘I don’t know. I wish I knew.’

‘I hate that we will never know.’

As if all this was not enough, the walls of Adjeley’s perfectly built castle came tumbling down. She was sitting on Pedro’s laps in the back of his Range Rover, their lips locked in a passionate battle of ‘Who’s a better kisser’ in front of Tonia’s house, just before Pedro left for the airport. She looked up to gasp for air and saw Nii standing there, looking like the very life had been sucked out of him.

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Know Thy Man Ep11: Things fall apart

Hi guys!!! So much hatred for Prosper! Wow! I really don’t want to be him right now! A special welcome to all our hoarders who were swayed by the ‘Let’s poison Prosper’s food and other stories’ and have finally caught up with us. I admire your determination- really remarkable! 😆😆 I absolutely love the #KnowThyMan feedback by the way! 💜💃🏽Keep it coming! 

I have got word that some of you want to read the old stories (as in pre-Capital High and Know Thy Man stories). At the very bottom of each post, there is the archives column that lists all the stories since October 2014-you are welcome😉. In the mean time, I will work on redesigning parts of the website so that you can easily access old posts. Birthday shoutouts to Miz Sabie! Stay beautiful! On to this week’s story! 

‘Klenam, I have told you several times to stop asking me to be your girlfriend. There is nothing you can do to change my mind. It just won’t work between us, don’t you get it?’

Grace sighed as she listened to his response. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him too. She just didn’t like the fact that he stammered. She could already hear her friends laughing at her if it took him two minutes to pronounce his name. However Klenam never gave up. He would show up at her office with Auntie Miriam’s bofrot because he knew she liked it.

‘F-f-food is the way to your heart, my darling Grace.’

And just like that, the smile would disappear from her face because he was stammering. She would always make up an excuse and ask him to leave. There were days when he would bring enough for all the other girls. Sometimes he would also call in and keep her company when she had a night shift.

‘Your boyfriend is really nice.’

‘He is not my boyfriend’, she would snap back. Sometimes she wished she could overlook that one trait. Sometimes she wished she could call him her boyfriend and bask in the admiration of all the other nurses.

Her eyes caught the movement at the entrance and she knew that there was an emergency.

‘Klenam, lemme call you back.’

37. On the days you want to rest, there is an emergency. On the days when you have energy to work, not a single soul will come in here. 

‘Ato, bring a stretcher.’

There were three people struggling to carry a woman who looked like she was unconscious inside. From the look of things, it was a man and his wife and their security man. She wrinkled her nose as the security man’s body odour wafted towards her nostrils.

Ah! Lime is not expensive oo. What is this? 

When she got closer, she realised that the woman’s wrists had been slashed. She quickly checked for her pulse. It was faint but she was alive. She went into action mode.

‘Please have a seat. I will come and fill in the woman’s details shortly. She needs to be attended to.’

She saw that the other woman had been crying. She was visibly shaken and her husband was trying to calm her down. The security man was idling around at the entrance. She wanted to tell him to move from the entrance but she didn’t want to risk getting close to him and getting a wiff of the ‘flavour’.

Dr. Quarcoo said what she thought when she saw the woman.

‘Looks like a suicide attempt. Do you have her details?’

‘Not yet. I am going back for the information.’

‘Okay.’

She walked up to them and asked for the woman’s details.

‘Name?’

‘Kafui Adabanu’

‘Age’

’28’

‘Blood group’

‘I am not sure. We will have to call her husband.’

‘Does she have any allergies? Or other medical conditions we should know about?’

‘Not that I know of. I am sorry we don’t have much information.’

‘What state did you find her in?’

‘Her nanny came to call her to breastfeed her son and found her in the bathtub, covered in her blood. She ran over to our house to call us to help. That’s all we know.’

‘Is she going to be okay?’

Grace looked up to see two other women. She would later discover that their names were Tonia and Zainab.

Tonia repeated her question.

‘Is she going to be okay?’

‘It is too early to tell. She lost a lot of blood before she was found. We are working on getting some blood.’

Zainab spoke up. ‘I can donate. I am O+’

‘Please give a minute. I will  be back. I need to speak with the doctor.’

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Know Thy Man Ep10: Fine from afar but far from fine 

Happy Wednesday, fam!! This week, I met about 10 of my silent readers and it was pleasant to discover the various ways in which people have made Kenikodjo a part of their lives. My favourite group was a group of medical students who save each story as a reward for achieving their study goals for that week. From nursing mothers to medical students to pensioners, I appreciate every one of you who makes the time to visit the website and read a post or two. I shared a post about the Blogging Ghana’s By the Fireside event over the week. If you missed it, here it is. Welcome to all the hoarders who have decided to catch up on #KnowThyMan. I see you binge-reading!😉

Once again, thank you for sharing your thoughts with the hashtag. It is always pleasant to see your thoughts and to discover more Kenikodjo readers. Last week, Kafui made us sad, Tonia was Tonia as usual and it looks like sapiosexual is the new in thing, judging from the comments. The most dominant feeling was hatred for Prosper. Let’s see what this week holds for us! Happy reading!❤

‘Mummy! Mummy! Look!’

Esowba proudly showed off the painting she had done of the family to her mother. Ewuraefua’s heart leaped with joy when she realized that Esowba had drawn the two of them standing side by side. Her older paintings always portrayed the two of them standing at extreme ends of the picture. Her eyes skimmed over the picture and once again like she always did, she marvelled at how talented her daughter was. Her bold strokes had captured all the details that everyone else took for granted- the slight wave in Ewuraefua’s new wig cap, Kuuku’s chinple, Kwamena’s chipped front tooth and Peter’s slightly bulging pot belly. Ewuraefua disapproved of the bulge and had tried subtly to get Peter to get back in shape. He was either not good at picking subtle signals or just ignoring her, all the while quaffing down tuna sandwiches and getting extra helpings of kontomire stew and boiled yam.

‘There is an art exhibition in town. Should we go and see it? I think it is called Cornfields in Accra or something like that.’

‘Yes! Yes! Thank you Mummy! You are the best!’

Thank you Jesus!

Esowba hugged her mother and as always, Ewuraefua’s eyes welled up with tears. It was going to take some time to get used to the turn around in events. It was almost as if Esowba had given herself permission to love her mother again once she discovered that her mother was not keeping her away from her real mother. Just the previous week, over breakfast, Kuuku had announced, matter of factly, that Mummy and Esowba were friends now. They had had a few more bedtime conversations about it, Ewuraefua and Esowba, and each time, Ewuraefua marvelled at her daughter’s ability to deal with the matter gracefully.

‘So do you hate my mother?’

‘No, I don’t. I didn’t like her very much at first but I am pretty glad she gave me you.’

‘Would you be mad if I wanted to meet her?’

‘No, I wouldn’t. So long as you promise not to keep any other secrets from me.’

‘Is that why Grandma doesn’t like Daddy very much?’

‘Is there anything at all that escapes these eyes of yours?’, Ewuraefua asked, smiling.

Grandma.

Also known as GeeMaa to Kuuku, Ma to Ewuraefua and Grandma Hazel to Peter.

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By the Fireside- June Edition 

So #Bythefireside happened! Blogging Ghana invited me to come and speak on the Capital High Series and what it felt like to win the Ghana Blogging and Social Media awards. My procrastinating self sent the Powerpoint presentation to the two Eddies at 5:20 pm and jumped into a taxi to head to the Impact Hub.

Of course my taxi ride had to be full of drama. The driver took a turn, landing us in the go slow traffic from the Fire Service to Danquah Circle. As expected, I was livid.

‘Oh boss, I told you I was in a hurry. Why didn’t you use the Osu-Labadi road?’, I shrieked after we had been sitting in the same spot for 10 minutes while beating myself up mentally for not leaving at 5. The poor guy swore that we would get there in 7 minutes.

‘Yoo! If we don’t get there in 7 minutes, I won’t pay the 10 cedis. I will pay 7!’

‘Ei madam, and what if we get there in 7 minutes? Will you increase the money?’

‘No!’

Hehe, quite the bully, am I not?

Any ways I got there in 7 minutes just like Opana had promised. So yes, he got his 10 cedis and even wished me all the best in my presentation. It was 5:40, leaving me with 20 minutes to try and calm down.

I was nervous, yep very nervous.

I know I look and sound confident but I am quite shy as well. And that side kicks in when I am the centre of attention. I was worried about a lot of things:

What if people don’t turn up?

What if I gbaa and someone puts it on Twitter?

What if my talk is boring?

What if nobody there has heard of Capital High?

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Know Thy Man Ep09: Gathering Clouds 

Happy Wednesday, guys! Thank you for all the feedback and the #knowthyman reactions. I knew I could count on you! Been an interesting week. I was at BlogCamp16 over the weekend and it was humbling to share my experiences with the blog over the last one and half years. In other news, Unorthodox Review did a flattering review of the blog. Anytime I discover something like this, I always think of you guys- especially those who read the very first few stories. Without you, we would not be here! Happy birthday to my darling Joan- thank you for reading the stories and assuring me that your kids will read them too! 

Pedro was running late. Adjeley didn’t particularly like waiting but she knew better than to complain. It was impossible to win an argument with him. It was one of the things that appealed to her about him- he was witty and always had a card that he had not yet played. The mystery and the excitement that came from anticipating his next move made him even more attractive than he actually was. He had laugh lines, probably because he was the life of the party wherever he went to. His teeth were a dull shade of yelllow- resultant from the excessive smoking. His dimples were deep enough to carry 10ml of water and they seemed to deepen when he was happy or amused. Pedro was smart- both book-smart and street-smart. He had one of those laughs- commanding, authentic and unapologetically loud. When they first met, it was over drinks at the Republic Bar.He was fascinated about how much she knew about Ghanaian culture.

‘You know more about the country than the tour guides I have met in Ghana do’

‘I had an interesting History teacher. It was impossible to sit in his class and not leave spilling over with information. He made it easy to remember facts.’

‘I wouldn’t give him all the credit though. I see you also put in an effort to stay abreast with events.’

‘I like to know things. There is this book I read…..’

And that is how their relationship started. Purely sapiosexual. They spent their dates discussing the evolution of man, the brain drain problem of Africa and other topics that would bore a normal 20 something year old to death. But not Adjeley. Pedro was fascinated by her- she was beautiful, confident and effortlessly intelligent. He knew this because they had spent a week in Takoradi sight seeing one time and she had returned on the morning of her first paper. She walked into the exam room and walked out with an A. He liked that he could have intellectually stimulating conversations with her one moment and do something crazy like sing at the top of his voice with her while driving to Aburi the next. The sex wasn’t really part of the plan initially. He had planned to keep it platonic while nursing his covetous desires but as it turned out one Saturday dawn, his libido had other plans.

Horrified that he may have ruined things between the two of them, he tried to joke about it.

‘You didn’t tell me you were unchartered waters.’

‘You didn’t tell me you were such a good sailor either.’

Just like that, with sailor-sea euphemisms, the ice was broken. If she regretted it, she never showed it. Things went back to normal- Pedro and Adjeley painting the town in whatever colour pleased them.

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Know Thy Man Ep08: Pizza Boys 

It’s Wednesday again. Even if I had forgotten, your incessant messages, tags and reminders made it impossible to forget. I loved last week’s cliffhanger, did you? I love how the story changes based on your reactions- it makes the journey as exciting for me as it is for you. So, I have noticed that a lot more people are reading #KnowThyMan but not many of you are talking about it- not like you did with Capital High. I get that it is easier to talk about Ninos’ Night and chop boxes than it is to talk about infidelity and anal sex 😀, but it really helps to get feedback on the content. Do let me know what you think about the series or any of the episodes you have read by posting with the #knowthyman hashtag. Anything at all- reactions, questions, memes, a quote that struck you, anything at all. I will find it and I will read and share it. I know you are amazing readers so you will blow my mind as always. Thanks in advance! Love, Keni! 

P.S: Today’s episode is dedicated to two of my June darlings; Abokuma Ellis and Benjamin Anyan. Thanks for being awesome. June is a great month because both of you were born in it. The only downside to your month is that plantain is not in season. It is getting depressing mehn! Shout outs to all my Kenikodjo pharmacists who got inducted today- especially Yvonne and Rosie. I am so proud of you!! 💜

Official hashtag for the series. Pretty cool, isn’t it? I designed it myself on my phone ✌🏾️

Tim’s eyes widened when he saw Tonia sauntering towards them.

No, it is not her.

It can’t be her.

Wait, it is her! 

Why is she walking towards us with her smile on her face?

Does she have acid in the bag she is carrying? Or a gun?

His mind ran wild with possibilities and all the while, he kept a poker face on, because he really didn’t know what to expect. He knew he owed her an explanation-no, an apology. He knew that she would be shaken to see him, at least he expected her to be. He had been gone for too long. He watched her plant a kiss on Paa Kow’s cheek, confirming his suspicions.

Tonia was in love with his twin.

Well, not exactly his twin- in the real sense of the word. Paa Kow and Tim had become childhood friends after they discovered their uncanny resemblance. It all started because Paa Kow was punished for doing something that Tim had done- throwing pebbles at the heads of everyone who passed under the mango tree he was sitting on. The poor boy was kneeling down in front of two old men who had suffered at the hands of Tim when they saw Tim.

‘Herh, are you twins? Or you are the one who did it? This one looks too calm for this kind of mischief. Come here.’

Kneeling side by side, refusing to give up the culprit, the seeds of a lifelong friendship were sown. A lot of theories started flying around as to why they looked so alike. Some people said they were twins who had been separated at birth, other people said they had one father who had very powerful genes, others said they were cousins. Even their mothers found it difficult to tell them apart sometimes. After watching Paa Kow’s mother being harassed by a woman who was convinced that she had had an affair with Tim’s father, the boys came up with a theory. To everyone who asked, they were first cousins. It was the easiest of the options. It shut the gossips up and saved their mothers from scrutiny.

They were as thick as thieves- going everywhere together, doing everything together. Tim was the mischievous one, the mastermind and Paa Kow was the innocent one, loyal to his leader. When they were older and about to head into different universities, Paa Kow asked Tim after their Sunday Omotuo and groundnut soup ritual, ‘Should we go and get a paternity test, now that we are going our separate ways?’

‘Paternity test for what? We are brothers- we don’t need a test to tell us that.’

‘Yeah chale, brothers for life.’

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